I wish this was a post focused on all the pictures of Charlie in his adorable costume hopped up on sugar running around with his friends. I'm sure there will be plenty of those pictures, but like you, I'll be seeing them as pictures, not there to watch the scene unfold for myself.
Yesterday I was admitted into the hospital after going into pre term labor or pre term dilation (don't ask me what the difference is). The night before I started leaking fluid, so early that morning we all headed to the hospital to get things checked out. Thankfully they determined my water had not broken, but I was in fact having contractions and my cervix (despite the cerclage surgery) had shortened even more. As a result I'm here for probably the next week. I was given meds to stop the contractions (which seem to be helping) and steroid shots to help develop the babies lungs. Yesterday was such a whirlwind I felt like I was in a fog. I got lots of information from multiple doctors, nurses, friends, and family and just tried to process it all. I tried not to look more than an hour or two into the future. Sometimes the future is a scary unknown.
What I determined last night as I lay wide awake at 3:00 am and what continues to ring true this morning is that this too shall pass. And while it will be hard and emotional and sometimes I'll cry and want to quit, it's all for a much greater purpose. There isn't going to be anything better than hugging my daughter and second born son for the first time. And as is always the case in difficult times, there is so much support and kindness around me.
Just this morning five little adorable kids came running into my room shouting "Happy Halloween!" At first I thought they'd come to see their pregnant family member and had somehow found their way into my room. But as their parents trickled in behind them I realized they were here to boost my spirits. Before I knew it I was doused with gifts; a pumpkin already cleaned out and ready to be carved, a box of goodies that had everything from razors to lotion to a beautiful handmade ornament, and a big bag of toys for Charlie. I could hardly believe I'd been here 24 hours and I was being given gifts, and by strangers no less! I felt undeserving but so blessed by the kindness of strangers. Needless to say Charlie was thrilled. It's amazing what a random act of kindness can do to lift one's spirits. Come to find out this program was started by a mom who spent a month and a half here on bed rest. She started an organization called www.actsofgracefoundation.org where she organizes events to support moms on bed rest, brings them fresh flowers and small gifts and even offers grants to help with medical bills. Pretty amazing.
As for me, I'm trying this one step at a time. I could be here for a week or a couple of months. Time will tell. But I've got my this blog, lots of books, the needle point pillow I started when pregnant with Charlie (whoops that really got away from me) and lots of supportive family and friends. I know I'll be OK and that I'm exactly where I need to be to ensure the healthy birth of our twins.
No comments:
Post a Comment