Thankful

So thankful for Charlie and the fact that he slept 12 hours straight last night!  We had a mini photo shoot Friday afternoon for Christmas card purposes.  Here are my favorites.

Fiery Red Head

Sleep update:  I come bearing good news!  After a LOOOOOONG weekend of sleep training, Charlie seems to have picked up on a few things.
1) There is no need to wake up every hour from midnight on.  Once will do and mom will change my diaper and feed me so I'm able to go back to sleep.
2)  They can take away my pacifier, but they can't take away the bottle or the boob.  And those work just like pacifiers!
3)  I have an awesome set of lungs and can scream for hours if necessary.  Usually my mom can only last for 30 minutes or so, but if Dad's in charge I might as well throw in the towel.  He's not coming to rescue me.
4)  Sleep in the car and whenever Mom and Dad are pushing me in the stroller.  That way I'm not left alone in the crib.


So, needless to say, Charlie has picked up on some positive habits, but we've also introduced some habits I'd like to avoid.  I'm ecstatic about him only waking up once at night.  That is a huge improvement and it only took a couple of nights to rectify.  However, somehow all of this sleep training has royally messed up his napping abilities.  1 1/2 hour naps have been downgraded to 30 minute ones. As I write this Charlie has been in his crib for an hour accomplishing anything he can in there aside from napping.  I've watched him from the monitor do multiple 360s, remove both his socks, and suck on his toes.  I swear that kid could give the most stubborn of mules a run for his money.

As Thanksgiving approaches I am reminded to be thankful for my fiery red head, well rested or not.  He is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to us and we are beyond blessed.  My Dad likes to remind me that in 18 years I'll wish I was worried about him sleeping through the night.  Instead I'll be up all night waiting for him to get home safely on a Saturday night.  I get it, Dad.  We'll sleep again some day.  Until then, I'll enjoy every waking moment with my baby mule.

Sleep Training

After a near sleepless night, Rick decided today was the day to begin sleep training with Charlie.  He is a pacifier baby and also loves a good swaddle.  We've come to realize those two don't mix.  Last night we woke up at midnight, and every hour on the hour thereafter, because his pacifier had fallen out of his mouth.  Because he was swaddled, he had no way of retrieving it or finding another way ie his hands to self sooth.  This led to multiple trips to his room to replace the pacifier and ultimately at 3:30 we threw up our hands and handed him over to the swing gods where he finally passed out from 4:45-7:30.  Luckily Rick had already decided to take the day off so he was able to help initiate the sleep training.
Prior to having Charlie, I always thought I'd be hardcore about things such as these.  In the classroom I'm a disciplinarian. Without structure there's chaos and chaos leaves no room for learning!  And then I had my own son and all rational thinking went out the window along with my memory and my flat abs.  Turns out Rick is the "stick to your guns" parent and I am the "let's just love him to sleep" parent.  I know, I'm as shocked as you are.  So this morning, when he laid out his plan to both take the pacifier and the swaddle away COLD TURKEY my heart dropped.  Intellectually I understood we could not sustain this lifestyle.  Neither of us were getting sleep and Charlie was suffering too.  But the emotional side of me felt physical pain in my heart as I thought about what this would mean for 9:00 nap time.  I imagined my beautiful baby boy instantly transforming into the Hulk spewing out blood curdling screams that would literally tear my heart to pieces.  And I was not disappointed.  An hour and a half later and the Hulk showed no signs of waving his white flag while I was barely holding it together.  Ultimately, Rick and I decided it was best if I left the house.

  I mean seriously?  How can you stand that?!  I get tears in my eyes just looking at it!  Ultimately, it took Charlie 2 1/2 hours to fall asleep.  By the time I came home he was up and playing and happy as a clam.

By 1:00 it was time for his afternoon nap.  This time Rick was at the grocery store so it was time for Mommy to step it up.  I laid him in his crib and walked away.  Howls began immediately and I reminded myself to breathe.  30 minutes went by and I decided to go in and reassure him that he was ok.  Alright, really I was reassuring myself....I picked him up and he instantly fell asleep in my arms.  I immediately began to sob.  Who knew nap time could be so emotional for all involved?!

Clearly sleep training is going to be a long, difficult process.  I need to remind myself of the bigger picture and remember that, "This too shall pass."  I'm lucky to have a husband without an emotional bone in his body who is able to stay strong in difficult times.  I kid, I kid.  Wish us luck!

An Ode to Motherhood

I was feeling defeated after reading on Facebook a status update an old college sorority sister posted this morning that highlighted the fact that her 3 month old daughter has been sleeping through the night for a week.  Sigh.  Charlie.is.not.  I was instantly jealous and angry.  I want eight uninterrupted hours of sleep! What is she doing that I'm not doing?  I imagined myself messaging her for her secrets.  Instead I sat down and picked up a book a friend of mine let me borrow.  I met her at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. Within minutes I felt better and here's why.  The book titled, "Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load: Out of the Spin Cycle" began with an ode to mothers.  And I loved it so much I'm going to retype it here for all you mothers out there to enjoy.

An ode to the marvelous woman called "Mother"

Though not one of us is exactly like another.

From the second we're born to the minute we die

Our preferences are as limitless as the stars in the sky.

We might have been perfectly gracious before

But childbirth entered us in the Mommy War.

Rather than letting everyone else be

We criticize parenting that isn't exactly like...me.

So once and for all let me put this to rest

None of us owns the title of "best".

Natural childbirth does not make you a hippy

Epidurals are not just for women who want to feel trippy.

In a bathtub with a doula or in a hospital bed

We all got a baby with limbs and a head.

Nursing is great if nothing goes wrong

But some nipples turn inward and refuse to play along.

This is a choice for each mom it's her route

So it's just A+B and everyone else can C their way out.

Schedules and timers do not make you cruel

Feeding on demand does not make you a fool.

In the nursery with a monitor or in the family bed

Every chick gets to pick where her baby lays his head.

If I see one more mom roll her eyes at "organic..."

"Partially hydrogenated" throws some of us into panic.

But neither judge Sonic burgers and fries

Some of us just want to enjoy food before we die.

Preschool, home school, public, or Montessori

Listen, my friends, I'll tell you a story:

Two moms differed on favorite school trends

Their kids turned out pretty much the same.  The end.

If a girl gets the title of "mom" accidentally

The worst thing we can do is treat her judgementally.

How about some love, some help, some advice?

She needs our love and we shouldn't think twice.

Discipline through various methods will prevail

Look, we're all just trying to keep our kids out of jail.

These things are just preferences, not right or wrong

What matters more is teaching our kids to get along-

To love and to share, to speak gently and kind, 

To obey so that mom won't go out of her mind.

Showing them Jesus is our common ground

teaching them how he can always be found.

He's present in public school and Waldorf (so trendy)

He's over at Whole Foods but also at Wendy's.

Jesus never cared about these sorts of things

It's our hearts that he wants and the worship we bring.

It's time for us moms to declare a truce

Regardless if we buy Capri Sun or 100 percent juice.

My way is not your way, and your way isn't mine

But both of our kids will turn out just fine.

Rather than judging and looking down our noses

Let's enjoy the common ground motherhood poses.

As believers, we all love the same good Lord

We all have children who tell us "I'm bored."

We all need more sleep than these tiny five hours

most of us struggle to find time for a shower.

We haven't been to the bathroom alone in an age

Our mothers have all told us, "Relax, this is just a stage."

We all love our babies so much we could die

We'd take a bullet for each one without batting an eye.

Though we are different, we're in the same tribe

Motherhood requires a similar vibe-

Love and affection, sacrifice and grace

Laughter, which keeps the whole mechanism in place.

Though different, by the grace of God, I suspect:

ALL of our children will rise up and call us...collect.

A Bad Cookie?

Last Friday we got a special delivery, cookies from my mother-in-law!  Within a matter of minutes I was ripping into the package and munching on her newest creation, two ginger cookies filled with pumpkin cream cheese frosting-delicious!  I was getting ready to text my mother-in-law to let her know how great the new recipe was, when nausea set in...hmm perhaps a sugar high.  I went about my day and the pain increased.  At Bueller's vet appointment later that afternoon I had to unbutton my pants because the pain was getting so bad.  I began to wonder if something was wrong with those cookies!  By 6:00 pm I was moaning and groaning in my bed willing Rick to get home so he could take over daddy duty and I could curl up in a ball and die.  Then the vomiting set in.  Rick started to worry when he found me in the shower only I wasn't standing, I was laying on the floor of the bathtub letting the shower water hit me in the stomach.  "What are you doing?!!"  I had no answer other than vomiting into the nearest trash can.  I kept thinking this was just a weird reaction to food and that after a few hours it had to pass.  But by 11:00 pm the vomiting had not ceased and neither had the pain.  I turned to Rick and told him we had to head to the ER.  Poor Charlie was sound asleep in his crib.  I couldn't wait for a babysitter to arrive, so Rick scooped him up and off we went to the nearest hospital.  The doctor examined me and determined I needed a cat scan to rule out appendicitis.  And for the first time that night I wondered if this might be something other than a bad cookie!  After two cat scans and six hours in the ER the radiologist determined it was in fact acute appendicitis and I needed surgery.  I was happy to call Rick's mom and tell her the cookies were great and did not in fact cause vomiting!
The surgery went routinely and I was out of the hospital and back home by 7:00 Saturday night.  Thankfully, my mom was able to fly out to help us.  After surgery the surgeon informed us that I would be unable to carry Charlie for a few days.  So grandma was put to work!  We were so lucky to have her with us to help with feedings, diaper changes, laundry, you name it!
It's been five days and I'm feeling a lot better.  I feel it's a bit cruel and unusual that I only recently felt good in my jeans again after my cesarean and now I'm back to my sweats.  Hopefully this recovery won't be as long and those jeans will be back in the wardrobe lineup before long.
Word to the wise, if you've got a stomach ache that doesn't ever let up...it's probably not the cookie!

String Bean and Caffeine

Apparently all I'm serving these days is fat free milk. Charlie is weighing in at a whopping 12 pounds and is 25 1/2 inches long!  For a little perspective, that's the 6% percentile for weight and the 76% for height.  String bean.  I began doing a bit of supplementing with formula over the past couple of weeks, but starting today we are on a strict supplemental diet of 3 ounces of formula at every feeding.  We're going back to the doctor in a month for a weight check.  The goal is to gain at least a pound.  We're hoping the extra calories will result in extra sleep, for everyone.  I've got one eye closed while writing this and if you called Rick right now I'm convinced he wouldn't answer because he's sleeping in the back seat of his car.  Needless to say, we could all use a few extra hours of shut eye.
This morning I found myself in an episode of "Up All Night" except the unfunny, real-life version that's missing the punch line.  Over the weekend Rick bought a new coffee maker and up until this morning he'd been making the coffee before he left for work.  As a result, I had yet to learn how the thing functioned.  This morning came early.  I went to bed at 8pm only to be awoken at 10, 12:30, 1, 1:15, 1:30, 1:45, 2:00, 3:30, 5:00, and 7:00.  Therefore, I was less than enthused when I went into the kitchen for what I like to call, "The only reason I'm able to put one foot in front of the other" only to discover Rick had left this morning without making coffee.  After cursing under my breathe, falling asleep for 30 seconds with my eyes open, and tripping over the cat food bowl, I set out to make some coffee.  I should have known at the way my day began, back at 12:30 this morning, that this wasn't going to be an easy task to accomplish.  I followed all of the usual steps from filling the water tank to adding the coffee and finally to pressing the "brew" button.  And that's where things went south.  As a coffee aficionado I am familiar with the sound of coffee brewing.  It starts almost immediately and is music to my exhausted ears.  Instead I heard nothing but the sound of my snoring as I stood comatose in front of the coffee maker.  I immediately called Rick.

Rick: Hey, what's up?
Me:  The coffee maker won't work.
Rick:  What do you mean it won't work?
Me:  I mean I want coffee and it's not making coffee.
Rick:  Did you turn it on?
Me:  Seriously.
Rick:  Well did you put water in it?
Me:  I'm going to start crying.  YES. I. PUT. WATER. IN. IT.
Rick:  (Laughing.)  Well, I don't know, try pressing buttons.
Me:  (Slamming buttons like a toddler with no fine motor skills.)  Not working.
Rick:  It always works for me.
Me:  I'm going to kill you.
Rick:  (Laughing.)  Unplug it and plug it back in.
Me:  (Unplugged it and plugged it back in...didn't work.)  I. NEED. COFFEE.  Come home.
Rick:  You're going to have to mess around with it until you figure it out.
Me:  (About you cry.)  I feel like I'm on an episode of "Up All Night" except this isn't funny because it's my life and I AM SO TIRED.
Rick:  Good luck, I gotta go.

Miraculously after mashing buttons for a few minutes, the glorious sound of water heating and then trickling through the coffee grinds sounded and I knew I would live to fight another day.