Excuse You!

Rick had an Enterprise outing Monday night, so Charlie had to accompany me to my Junior League Meeting.  I of course had him dressed to the 9s in an adorable outfit my mom bought him from Janie and Jack.  He was quite the handsome prince:-)  The meeting got started and Charlie laid in his carrier sucking his fingers and taking in all the estrogen.  The women began introducing themselves one by one.  And then it happened.  (Insert loudest farting noise you've ever heard come out of a baby here.)  The room went silent and my face went red.  All eyes turned to me and all I could muster up to say was, "Excuse you!"  Charlie smiled and I picked up him and rushed him out of the room, diaper bag in tow, to assess the damage.  You'd think the Junior League, an organization created to benefit women and children, would have a changing table in the bathroom.  Wrong.  The next best place I could find was a conference table in an unused room.  I was about to lay him down when I felt the slightest drip on my foot.  Is the ceiling leaking?  Nope.  My baby is leaking.  And no, it wasn't pee.  Upon further inspection it became immediately evident that the situation was much more dire than I'd initially imagined it to be.  He had exploded, and I do not use that term lightly, out of his diaper, all over his new, adorable outfit, and was now dripping onto my shoe.  Delicious!  I managed to hold my poop covered son in one arm while retrieving the portable changing pad within my diaper bag with the other hand.  I finally laid Charlie down and went to grab the diaper and wipes.  Many, many wipes.  I'd forgotten that I'd shoved a book for this meeting into my bag and when I went to grab the diaper the book came tumbling out and landed with a thud on Charlie's head.  I braced myself for the scream.  Thankfully it never came, but a giant red bump did:-)  This is going well.  9 baby wipes, a new diaper, and a change of clothes later and we were packing up to head back to the meeting.  I feel sorry for whoever meets in that conference room next...We headed back, Charlie in his far less adorable outfit, and brand new forehead welt, and me ready to collapse with exhaustion.  Luckily, everyone seemed so enthralled with the speaker that nobody seemed to notice.  Maybe next time Rick should take Charlie to his Enterprise outing.  Mama needs a nap!