Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Highlights

My friend from college, Jenny, was kind enough to come out and visit me this past week.  I think I must have mentioned to her one too many times how, "I've lost my mind!!"  She pretty much jumped on the next plane to save me.  Did I mention I love her?  She kept my mind off the impending transfer doing what she does best, making me laugh.  Here are some of this past week's highlights.

Our First Fire:  In our new place we have an old school fireplace.  Rick and I have only ever lived in places with gas fireplaces, so starting a fire was going to be a new experience.  Jenny said she knew how to get that bad boy started, and we trusted her.  OUR MISTAKE.  She methodically organized paper bags (we were out of newspaper) and some of the logs the last tenant left behind.  And once it was set to her liking, she began lighting the paper.  This is where things went wrong.  If only we hadn't lit the darn thing, we would have been golden!  Immediately the fire took and began to roar.  SUCCESS!  Unfortunately, the smoke began immediately filling our tiny living room instead of snaking it's way up the chimney.  Rick walked in from work at this moment.  "What the (insert expletive here) are you guys doing?"  Hmmmm apparently we are smoking ourselves out of the house!  Turns out the flue was absolutely, positively closed.  And of course we had no idea how to get it open while the fire was ROARING.  I cannot explain how quickly smoke filled the room.  Smoke is the real deal people.  You've been warned.  Rick did what he could to open the flue, but we really had no clue what to do, and we were in panic mode once the smoke alarm went off.  That thing gets the blood pumping and triggers emergency mode in your brain!  One second we're laughing about how there's a little bit of smoke in the room and the next second we're filling mixing bowls with water to douse the flames while running around the house to open all windows and doors hoping the neighbors don't notice.  NOTHING TO SEE HERE FOLKS!  Eventually the flames were extinguished and the smoke subsided.  At least we know the smoke detectors work.  And once to panic wore off, Rick noticed there is a lever on the front of the fireplace to open the flue...PERRRRRFECT.

Shopping:  Throughout Jenny's visit we did what we do best, shopped.  One day we walked around Vail Village and did some shopping.  We went into a store looking for a dress Jenny needs for an upcoming event at UVA.  She went into the dressing room to try on the dress.  It was ADORABLE and she loved it, the only problem was she couldn't get the zipper up.  I went in to help her.  In hindsight I probably shouldn't have helped her.  If a zipper won't zip, do. not. force. it.  I forced it.  Fast forward to a broken zipper half way up the dress yet unzipped on either side of the actual zipper.  Never good.  It's time to take the dress off.  I'm sure you can guess how this turns out...Clearly Jenny wasn't going to be able to get out of the dress alone.  What are friends for?  First we tried the over the head maneuver.  No luck. Then things got serious.  Jenny began the sweat.  In her defense it was unnecessarily hot in the dressing room.  But the sweating only made things worse.  Have you ever been wearing a coat and gotten instantly hot.  You need to get that coat off, NOW.  You needed that coat off months ago and cannot get it off fast enough.  Somehow that makes it impossible to pull your arms out of the darn thing.  And at one point your mind goes there and thinks, "This is it, I'm dying in this coat."  Well, I imagine this is how Jenny felt once we realized we could not get her out of this thing.  Plan B, get help.  I went to find an employee and ask her for assistance.  Thankfully she was understanding.  Her immediate reaction.  "I'm getting the scissors."  Wait a second, you are going to cut my friend out of this dress?!  And this is when I know this experience had become blog worthy!  She left and came back with a pair of scissors.  Jenny was concerned about ruining the dress.  It was THAT cute.  So the employee tried one more time to dislodge the zipper.  No luck.  Then she handed me the scissors (am I cutting this thing off?!) and went back to the dress.  Now here I need you to picture this employee as the Hulk.  I've never seen the movie, but I know that when he turns into that crazy green monster he grabs either side of his shirt and ferociously rips it from his body while expelling a guttural roar so intense that it causes dresses to fall from women's bodies.  That doesn't happen in the movie?  Well it happens here.  The Hulk grabbed either side of the dress and tore it, freeing Jenny from it's restraint.  VICTORY!  Jenny did not buy the dress.

No comments:

Post a Comment